A lot of clients come to me after spending thousands of dollars and many years working on themselves.
They’ve done talk therapy, gone to spiritual retreats, you name it.
And they’re frustrated that they still feel stuck – maybe they grapple with feeling unworthy or they carry around a heavy weight of grief they just can’t shake. Maybe their intimate partnerships follow a predictably disappointing pattern.
Can you relate?
I’d like to share with you an analogy that will help put what you’re going through into a perspective you can work with and also help you walk yourself to freedom.
The analogy is my “Life Tapestry Knot” Theory, and here it is:
Imagine your life as a tapestry. Each individual experience, every trauma and joy your soul has ever had, and each family burden or blessing you’ve inherited makes up a distinct thread in the fabric of your life.
As you can imagine, there are a multitude of threads.
These threads are filled with light and information. They are intelligent. They hold memory and intention.
Some threads, the ones made of burdens and traumas, of hurt and pain – they may be rough, disfigured, torn, and not as capable of radiating light.
They interact with and bunch up together with other threads that have similar content and are also dim and in disarray.
Eventually, we get a big knot of threads that are not functioning well and are all clumped together.
I call each of these knots a Life Tapestry Knot.
When we are at a place in our life where we’re thinking: I can’t believe I’m going through this again! or Why do I still feel this way?!, it is because we’re stuck in the middle of one of these Life Tapestry Knots.
The reason we tend to feel discouraged and overwhelmed, or depressed, or stuck in a fog, is because we’re not dealing with a simple situation. We’re actually being affected by lots of different past hurts and burdens and difficulties.
And because of that, our situation will not change with one stroke of a magic wand.
The trick to resolving these kinds of knots is to really understand that they’re made of up many different threads with similar content – that all have a different origin.
Here is an example of what I mean:
I worked with a woman last year whose main complaint was of having a string of bad relationships.
She was in her mid-40’s, and life was not turning out the way she’d expected. She was still reeling from a divorce that happened a few years earlier, and she was having a hard time getting below the surface with the men she’d been dating recently – even forming female friendships felt difficult.
Throughout the course of our work together, we discovered that there were many threads setting her up for failure when it came to creating longterm harmony with a partner.
Here are some of the distinct ones that we uncovered in our phone calls and wound up dedicating sessions to:
~ She always felt like a burden to other people – like she offered nothing of real value.
~ She had an ongoing sense of unworthiness.
~ Deep down she believed she was a disappointment to others.
~ She’d had a pattern of being used – it seemed like people would get what they needed from her then have no use for her anymore.
~ There was a recurring experience of betrayal by lovers and close friends.
These were just some of the threads that we worked with. But you can see how each of these contributes to a larger reality of really painful relationship experiences.
The way I helped her move forward was to take each distinct belief, or persistent feeling, or repetitive experience, and dedicate a unique session to it.
Our work was different for each one of the threads, and we wound up addressing a past life in one session, family entanglements in other sessions, and painful childhood memories in other ones.
Session by session, my client took another step into a new reality that was much more alive, gentle and loving.
My Encouragement for You…
What situations in your life are frustrating you right now?
Consider that you may be in the middle of a Life Tapestry Knot and need to begin breaking things down to each of the individual threads at play.
What you are grappling with is likely the culmination of many different scenarios from the past. It will take time to address and resolve each one of these threads.
The beautiful part is that every thread you restore and heal will now become a vibrant, strong, bright contributor to the whole of your unique life tapestry.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and reactions to this! What is one particular insight you’ve gained? Leave a comment and let me know!
And, if you’d prefer to see me describe this on video, you can see that here.