It can be scary to stand in our power. To ask for what we want. To share our point of view. To declare that our work has value. To tell our partner or our children, “No,” that we need time for ourselves.
The stakes feel so high.
We avoid expressing our most unapologetic selves. What if people judge me, or laugh at me, or leave me, or punish me? What if I’m too much? When it comes to taking up space for ourselves, it’s all too easy to predict danger around the corner.
And yet…somewhere inside us is an unafraid, fully empowered Self, already prepared to spread her wings. This Self embodies faith. She is centered in her own knowing, in her own self-care, in her clear boundaries because she knows that this level of attendance to her own needs always ultimately creates the happiest, most harmonious outcome for everyone.
Someday perhaps we’ll all live with this level of audacity – in our relationships, our work, our lifestyles. But for most of us today, we are still working on it.
Think of a situation in your life right now…
If you were to fully stand in your power and be your absolute honest self, what would it look like – what would you say, and to whom? What action would you take?
If you’re holding yourself back, what is it you’re afraid might happen?
(And is that worth holding yourself back for?)
Freedom Begins with Insight
We are complex beings. Each of us holds a unique set of beliefs and burdens from the past. Some of these motivate us, fueling us forward, but others trap us in fear and limitation.
Our burdens originate in different places…
Such as our own soul field (think past lives). Recently, I did a series of past-life constellations for women wanting to heal traumas related to being female (it was amazing – will be sharing more on this one day soon). The sessions uncovered numerous past-life ordeals that manifested as my clients feeling afraid and playing small in their lives here and now. One woman had been a queen who’d been deposed of her crown, another was an herbalist who’d been killed for “witchcraft,” another was a wife in rural Arkansas who’d been trapped by an extremely violent husband, another had been locked away in a mental institution for not conforming. Bringing peace to the past cleared a big piece in these women’s journeys towards being empowered today.
A second place is our family’s soul field (think ancestral entanglements). We all have family members and ancestors who’ve been through major life challenges from war to illness to early death to divorce, and so on. If our forbears didn’t make peace with what they lived through, later generations – like us and our children – can become entangled with them and carry their burdens.
Here’s an example: A man of Roma Gypsy heritage recently came to me to do some work around his terror of speaking up. Over the course of the constellation session, we uncovered that one of his Gypsy ancestors had been forced into slavery, and would be beaten (or worse) for speaking his mind. The oppression of this man’s ancestor was living on through him.
A third place is our own personal history (think childhood and major life events). Sometimes hidden beliefs are rooted in difficult times from our own lives (whether or not we remember the details of what happened). For instance, I’ve worked with more than one woman with eating issues that stemmed back to when she was an infant and didn’t receive the soothing she desperately needed.
The reasons we hold ourselves back today are as varied and magnificent as each one of us. And there are often multiple threads involved in any major pattern. Fortunately, we can heal and restore these threads one at a time to create a movement of graceful and lasting transformation.
What ways do you struggle with being powerful? Is it hard for you to connect with your own wants and needs, or do you simply have trouble honoring them?
Over the next few days, begin to get curious. When you feel that familiar unease of stuffing down, ignoring or rationalizing away what’s important to you, hold space in your heart for insight to emerge. You may discover a new key to releasing the pattern for good.
Let me know what you discover!
PS. If you’re interested in how I can support you to clear old, stubborn patterns and realize your dreams, set up a free Break Free & Thrive phone session with me here: meetme.so/lexi